I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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