I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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