Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
