who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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