Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So. Much. Porn.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
