so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
