What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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