Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
