I can tuck mytits in my pants
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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