Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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  (424): The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration. http://tfl.nu/aroj
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (1522)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (658) Bad night (5531)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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  (615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci
  Replies (10) Good night (3945) Bad night (852)
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  (518): View more from New York

  woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

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  (518): woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so http://tfl.nu/1jbm
  Replies (6) Good night (6919) Bad night (534)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.

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  (913): I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better. http://tfl.nu/gf52
  Replies (6) Good night (1860) Bad night (3175)
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  (818): View more from California

  Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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  (818): Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful. http://tfl.nu/9blw
  Replies (15) Good night (2216) Bad night (4634)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

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  (918): they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks http://tfl.nu/5j5t
  Replies (27) Good night (1189) Bad night (7056)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now

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  (917): He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now http://tfl.nu/4db9
  Replies (31) Good night (9566) Bad night (1285)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.

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  (719): Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon. http://tfl.nu/ncwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2117) Bad night (715)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

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  (678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count http://tfl.nu/smaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1539) Bad night (887)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang

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  (412): I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang http://tfl.nu/dtxk
  Replies (20) Good night (1893) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?

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  (770): He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days? http://tfl.nu/yt8d
  Replies (12) Good night (1265) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.

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  (785): He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1thi
  Replies (1) Good night (1067) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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  (862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg
  Replies (7) Good night (1102) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

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  (925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (566)

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