Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.