Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You could cut the tension with my nipples.