I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
