Betty ford says i'm here all night
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
