I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
