Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I just sharted jello shots
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
