there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
