i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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