I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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