Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize