He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think I died a long time ago.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
