Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
