I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
MIDGETS
????
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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