Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
