you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize