Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
