Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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