I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
