woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
