you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
