i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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