This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
