That's intense
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
