i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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