If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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