I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
