No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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