No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
