school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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