why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am naked and annoyed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
