found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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