When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
time to smoke my breakfast
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
