If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
