I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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