Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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