Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
