I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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