there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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