that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you never un-have a 4some
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
