If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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