Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
People in love make me want to vomit
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
