Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
