I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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