You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
