I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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