I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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