I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
