But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
